Disclaimer: This post will be longer than usual
I am
afraid. For many things. Most of them are the fear of my future. I’m afraid
that I took wrong decision, afraid that the steps I took aren’t God’s, and so
on. And as the fears are piling up, I start to question more, what if I fail?
What if this isn’t what God want me to do? What if I disappointed Him? What if
and what if…
Speaking
of fear, a week ago I watched The Croods (It’s a very good movie, I recommend
you to watch it if you haven’t), and there’s a quote that draws my attention.
At the beginning of it, the father of the Croods family tells his daughter to
‘never not be afraid’. It’s quite interesting for me cause it’s repeated for
several times, but then, at the end of the movie the father tells his daughter
again, but this time, he says ‘never be afraid’.
As
this ‘afraid’ problem strikes me, I try to look at the bible for what it says
about fear. I search the term ‘afraid’, and found these (all in NIV):
Matthew
8:26
He
replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it
was completely calm.
Matthew
10:26
“So
do not be afraid of them, for there
is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be
made known.
Matthew
10:28
Do
not be afraid of those who kill the
body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy
both soul and body in hell.
Matthew
10:31
So
don’t be afraid; you are worth more
than many sparrows.
Matthew
17:7
But
Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.”
Mark
4:40
He
said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid?
Do you still have no faith?”
Luke
8:50
Hearing
this, Jesus said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid;
just believe, and she will be healed.”
Luke
12:32
“Do
not be afraid, little flock, for
your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.
Many
times, Jesus tells us not to be afraid. Fear makes us to loose what we supposed
to earn. (Matthew 25:25, So I was afraid
and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to
you.)
But,
then I think, isn’t fear so human? Jesus felt afraid when he’s going to be
captured. (Mark 14:33, He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he
began to be deeply distressed and troubled) It isn’t said that Jesus was
afraid, but the Indonesian version states so. Then, Jesus prayed at Gethsemane
and he’s able to overpower His fear.
Man
alone can’t conquer fear. But with God everything is possible. The thing is, I
feel my spiritual condition is rather stagnant these days—if it can’t be called
decline. And as I write this post, another quote stroke my mind. It’s from a
movie called Demi Ucok (another good film you’ve to watch, I wrote the review
in this blog). There’s a quote that says,’Takut tuh, tandanya lo jauh dari
Tuhan’. I don’t really get it when I watched this movie, but now it feels very
related to me. Sometimes when I feel that I sinned a lot, I think that I don’t
deserve to pray. I don’t deserve to come to God. I know that this isn’t right.
Then when I feel I don’t deserve to pray, my prayer will become just a routine,
and this is when—like now, I will loose my intimacy with God. And as these
continue, I realize that my fear will start to consume me. When things like
this happens, I know the solution is to kneel, and have a little faith.
Ehm, by the way, Selamat Paska! Hehe…
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