Exam and problem really aren’t a good combination. It’s like a double trouble. And this is when writing becomes a need to me. A therapy. So, this post will be all about my complaints and grumbles. You can skip it if you are not interested.
I realize I spend less time at home these days. It’s like I always find an excuse to come home late. Studying, hang out, etc, etc. I made reasons. Lots of it. Why am I so unwilling to come home? I asked myself. And the answer right there all of the time, I always know it.
I am running. Home lately isn’t the nicest place on earth—oh, except my own bedroom. I feel the air so heavy whenever I’m at home. It’s the same old story I always try to ignore. The same thing I never try to solve. The same thing I always try to forget. It works sometimes—most of the time, but at the certain time I never know, it’ll erupt again. And like this time, it’s erupting. Creating more scars, more weight. And I’m tired.
That’s the point.
I know running won’t solve my problem, but facing it will drain all of my energy. And I’m already exhausted right now. But when I was writing this post, I did a blogwalking and someone on her blog write this: ‘… and when it hurts badly, whisper to God how much it’s hurt’. This sentence stunned me. When there is nothing we can do, and there is no one around, isn’t God the only person who always care?
And I whisper to Him. “It’s hurt, God.”