Thursday, October 31, 2013

I Feel You


Sometimes—no, most of the time, when you talk to someone and they listen, you’ll feel more relieved if they say,”I understand”. “Gue ngerti,” kata-kata itu kadang bikin kita jauh lebih lega setelah cerita, karena pada dasarnya setiap manusia butuh—dan ingin, dimengerti. Karena menceritakan masalah kita pada orang yang pernah mengalami hal yang sama membuat kita merasa dipahami. It feels really bad when no one understands you.

I often wonder why God in the first place put me in some situations. Make me face problems that I feel too big for me. For example, why does God put me in this family? Or, Why do I have to be the first child? A conversation with someone last night reminds me that all things work for good. Those annoying things make me stronger, tougher. ‘Masalah, bikin kamu lebih tahan banting,’ begitu katanya.

Tapi pagi ini, sebuah BBM dari seorang teman mengingatkan saya pada hal lain. Teman saya BBM bahwa keluarganya—lagi-lagi, bermasalah. Belakangan, kalau saya dengar masalah keluarga dari seorang teman, I feel I can relate to him/her. Dan pagi ini saya jadi sadar, masalah nggak cuma membuat diri kita semakin kuat, lebih dari itu, masalah membuat kita mengerti orang lain. Masalah, membuat kita bisa jadi kekuatan untuk orang lain. Isn’t it a great thing? 

Sebuah percakapan dengan seorang teman hari Sabtu lalu mengingatkan saya bahwa setiap keluarga punya salibnya masing-masing. Suka nggak suka, mau nggak mau, kita punya salib yang harus kita pikul bareng anggota keluarga kita. Nggak jarang juga kita jadi terluka karenanya. Sebagian dari kita bahkan mungkin sampai sudah mati rasa karena terluka berulang kali. Tapi, sekebal-kebalnya kita, ada titik-titik tertentu di mana kita akan merasa sakit lagi, berdarah lagi. And when those dark moments strike, we need someone to hear us out, somebody to understand. Somebody to cry on.

And somehow I feel happy when I can be that person who understands. Sesederhana, karena saya tahu betapa capek dan menguras energinya dealing  dengan masalah keluarga. Simply because I understand the feeling when you just don’t want to go home, because the thing you called ‘home’ turn into just a ‘house’.

Masalah kayak gini nggak akan selesai dalam waktu singkat. It will take a really really long time, it even can cost your whole life. Makanya, setiap kita butuh ‘ventilasi’. We need people that God put around us to remind us about His grace. Because when we feel His grace, the problems we face won’t make us bitter. When we don’t feel bitter, we get stronger and can be the strength to others.

Hey, if you face any problems today, talk to someone. Don’t run but face it. Karena percaya deh, hal-hal itu nggak cuma bikin diri kita tambah kuat, tapi bisa bikin kita jadi kekuatan buat orang lain suatu hari nanti.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

unimportant


Bangun siang dan masih punya waktu untuk nulis ditemani ice hazelnut chocolate, I really am a happy soul! The weather was nice, and I only have one class today, totally a great day. Except for the deadline, and the fact that it’s the end of October—which reminds me that February is getting closer (if you know what I am talking about :” ) Menyebalkan menyadari bahwa kita nggak akan pernah menang melawan waktu. Anyway, enjoying the moment for now is the best choice I can make, right?


my all time inspiration booster--chocolate! 

Live your moment to the fullest!

Saturday, October 26, 2013

home


I remember a couple days ago, I was sitting on my favorite restaurant, revising my draft. It was lunchtime, and there were this little girl—maybe seven or eight years old, and her mother. The little girl begged for her favorite cake, but her mother told that they had ordered enough cakes. The girl whined, but still, she didn’t get what she wanted. I put my attention back to my laptop. But then, later on, when the argued over and I looked back to them. These mother and daughter were on phone, and as I listened to them, they’re talking to this little girl father. What the little girl said on phone to her father, somehow, lingered on my mind for the rest of the day. She said,”Daddy, nanti malam kita makan enak ya”.

I was stunned. It was Thursday—a weekday, but still this little girl can have a dinner with her father. I wonder when the last time I had a dinner with my whole family. Days ago? A week ago? A month ago? I can’t even remember. Since when do I—we, too busy to just sit and enjoy our dinner together? Since when do I too busy for whatever it is—I don’t know. Suddenly, I miss having a dinner at my family’s favorite restaurant. I counted how many times I skipped dinner with my family on weekend. And as I recalled how I spent my weekends lately, I realized that I’ve spent too much weekends with my friends rather than my family.

But luckily tonight I have no agenda with any of my friends. My mother and father are both at home, and happily we could have a dinner together at our favorite restaurant. It was good to be back. It was good to have a conversation with them. It was good to laugh at the same table with my brother and sister. It was good. It was always great to be at home.

all great heroes


And if I could tell you one thing
It would be:

You are never as broken as you think
you are.

Sure, you have a couple of scars,
and a couple of bad memories,

but then again

all great heroes do.

ltn

Thursday, October 24, 2013

i love you, even before we met


There was this short movie competition held by a church several months ago. Temanya tentang buah-buah roh, dan kebetulan gereja saya ikutan. Waktu teman saya bilang,“Kita ambil buah rohnya pengendalian diri aja,” saya langsung tertarik. Menurut saya tema ini relate banget sama kehidupan remaja—dan mungkin pemuda juga, terutama pengendalian diri dari hawa nafsu pornografi.

Berapa banyak dari kita yang jatuh dalam dosa pornografi? Berapa banyak dari kita yang pernah buka—baca, nonton konten pornografi? Berapa banyak dari kita yang awalnya cuma penasaran dan ikut-ikutan teman, tapi akhirnya jadi kecanduan pornografi? Berapa banyak dari kita yang jatuh dalam dosa seksual? By the way, pertanyaan ini nggak cuma untuk teman-teman yang laki-laki, tapi juga untuk yang perempuan.

The next questions are, berapa banyak dari kita yang tahu teman kita jatuh dalam dosa tersebut tapi nggak berani speak up? Berapa banyak dari kita yang tahu teman kita kecanduan tapi nggak berusaha nolong? Berapa banyak dari kita yang malu ngomongin hal-hal yang berbau seksual dengan sesama teman hanya karena kita dibesarkan dalam budaya timur yang serba ‘tabu’ ini itu?

Let me tell you this, kecanduan pornografi bukan cuma merugikan diri sendiri, tapi juga merugikan pasangan kita di masa depan. Bukan cuma menghancurkan diri sendiri, tapi juga mendukakan hati Tuhan dan pasangan hidup kita nantinya. Lust doesn’t go away once you’re married. If you are addicted to porn before marriage, it doesn’t go away, it just gets hidden elsewhere. Kecanduan pornografi membuat kita kehilangan persepsi yang benar tentang aktivitas seksual. Porn addiction causes you to look at your partner through a “porn-filter.” You will never be satisfied, because you will always have a better image in the back of your mind.

Kalau kita udah nggak peduli dengan diri sendiri ketika nonton pornografi, coba pikir tentang orang yang kita kasihi. Think about someone you love—pacar, gebetan, orang yang kamu sayang. Think about your future husband/wife. Do you want to disappoint him/her?

You want to know how to make your partner feel worthless? Watch porn.
How to make him/her feel insufficient? Watch porn.

Pasti pernah baca Amsal 31 yang terkenal dengan kriteria godly woman kan? Ayatnya yang ke-12 bilang gini: “Ia berbuat baik kepada suaminya dan tidak berbuat jahat sepanjang umurnya”.

Kenapa sepanjang umurnya? Kenapa nggak sejak ia bertemu dengan suaminya atau sejak mereka menikah? Dari sini ide video ini muncul, intinya sih pengen bilang kalau kita punya kewajiban dan tanggung jawab untuk mengasihi dan menghargai pasangan kita seumur hidup kita, even sebelum kita ketemu dia. Sebelum kita kenal, jatuh cinta, pacaran, dan menikah. Caranya? Yah dengan menjaga kekudusan. Menjaga kekudusan bukan hanya perkara kita dengan Tuhan, tapi juga perkara kita dengan sesama kita—pasangan kita nantinya. Hidup kudus adalah cara kita menunjukkan kasih kita kepada pasangan kita, salah satu hadiah terindah yang bisa kita berikan untuk pasangan kita.

So here it is, Haven’t Met You Yet: (or you can click here if the video doesn't work)




“Tetapi hendaklah kamu menjadi kudus di dalam seluruh hidupmu sama seperti Dia yang kudus, yang telah memanggil kamu, sebab ada tertulis: Kuduslah kamu, sebab Aku kudus.” –1 Petrus 1: 15-16

Monday, October 21, 2013

a time to let go


And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us around?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

—Vitamin C

Suddenly want to look for this graduation lyric by Vitamin C. It’s written on the back of my senior high (or junior high?) yearbook. Well, I guess here comes the season of letting go again :”