Sunday, September 8, 2013

I'm not losing you

This afternoon—right after I was back from church, a friend of mine contact me via LINE. She asked me for an apology for thing she had done. I questioned what kind of mistake it was, because I don’t feel I have any problem with her at all. She told me it was because something she had said. She thought I was upset because of her words to me. I told her it was okay, I don’t feel offended at all since I know she didn’t mean to. Problem solved. Both of us are happy.

At the end she told me it was a relieved, she was afraid she hurt me and not talking about it would ruin our friendship, so she took the initiative.

I think we need more person like my friend these days, or we should act like one. Today when you look at relationships people are involved in, you’ll realize that we loose our guts to talk openly.  We stop talking about what’s in our mind freely. ‘To save the relationship so nobody get hurt’, they say—you say. It was ridiculous. Enduring things by yourself or gulping down your feelings by your own doesn’t save your relationship, it’s ruining it. It’s true there will be no anger; there will be no fights. Both of you seem fine. But those silences between the two of you destroy your relationship. When two people who have a problem do not talk about it, each of them will assume. Creating their fake reasoning that don’t even there in the first place. And assumptions will take your best friend away. 

I am an overthinking person, and I realize I assume a lot—which is bad. When you felt upset with someone and don’t talk about it, you assume. When you assume, there will be an invisible barrier between you and the other person, you are no longer laughing with him or her, then you stop talking to each other. Soon, when you realize, there already a huge gap between you and him/her. And later, you’ll miss that person so much, you’ll miss the day you were having fun together, you’ll miss the day when you can talk to him/her freely, and you’ll wish that you talked about your problem at the pass.

Today, a conversation with a friend reminded me. You are not losing a friend—a dear friend, over a problem or an assumption. Your friendship is worth more than any problems. So if today you feel that you are losing a friend—that there is a distant between you and your friend that shouldn’t be there, make a move. Stop assuming. Text or call or ask him/her to meet up. Talk about your problems. Save your friendship, because, believe me, you don’t want to loose a friend over a problem. 

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