Wednesday, December 11, 2013

ask the reason why

In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. —Ender, Ender’s Game

I remember when I was a kid when there’s a friend who wasn’t willing to share something with me, my parents told me to share something for him/her instead. Why doing good to people who treated us bad? For a five-year-old girl, it didn’t make any sense. And maybe, it even doesn’t make any sense for some of the adults.

But Bible told us to love our enemies. To pay attention to them and treat them well. Hard? Of course it is. Like I said earlier, it even doesn’t make any sense for some people. But impossible? No.

As I grow up, instead of getting mad at people whose act I can’t stand, I try to think the reason they did such things. I usually wonder, what kind of family he/she grows up in. What kind of childhood did he/she have been through? What kind of life that she/he has to bear? Is there any kind of wound his/her heart suffers? It’s difficult at the beginning, but as I getting used to it, it helps me to love them. Sometimes when you get to know the answers for those questions, you’ll be surprised. Because most of the time, the people you hate—the people you dislike, are the people who need to be heard. They are people who—surprisingly, need to be loved the most.

You’ll realize that those traits you don’t like from your enemies, most of the times are the results from their childhood experiences. Isn’t this kind of thing occurs to all people, including us? Who we are today are made from what we experienced in the past. And that makes all of us equal. Equally to be loved.

Next time you feel too difficult to love your enemy, try to understand them. It helps.

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