stay

“…it is easy to become spoiled if we concentrate on the core of our giftedness—as if the universe existed only to fulfill our gifts….We live in a fallen world and the core of our gifts may not be fulfilled in our lives on earth. If there had been no Fall, all our work would have naturally and fully expressed who we are and exercised the gifts we have been given. But after the Fall, that is not so.” –The Call, Os Guinness

I didn’t personally agree with the statement when I read it for the first time. I’m struggling here myself. And hundred—thousand times I wonder what if I quit from what I am doing now and take do something I really want—I really love doing.

Things been really hard for me these days. And there are those nights when I feel like I really can’t do this, it’s too hard, and I want to quit. There are those time when I feel like I’m not belong where I am now, when I feel that this work isn’t for me, when I fell like I can have a much better life if I quit and doing what I really love…

But, as I struggling with these thoughts, somehow, there is this tiny little voice whispering deep down in my heart that I should stay. Stay, because I am the one that make the decision in the first place. Stay because I have a responsibility for my choice in the past. Stay, because may be this is the place that God want me to be in right now. Stay, because may be it is what I supposed to do. Stay, because maybe things get hard to remind me that things are broken here, and God will do His work through these brokenness.

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