Tuesday, April 26, 2016

inner peace

“So, you’re not born in a Catholic family?”

“Nope”.

“Then why’d you become a Catholic?”

“I don’t know. It’s just I find my peace at church. Whenever I have a problem, I find that it is more comforting to sit in silent and pray; it is putting me at ease. Silly, huh? Choosing a religion for reasons like that”.


“No, I think it is not silly. It’s simple. And sincere. A genuine reason that people forget these days—to become comfortable in our own home.”

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Wednesday, April 20, 2016

a moment with you

“Ck, hujan,” protes Alex di sebelah gue diikuti dengan umpatan-umpatan yang biasa dilontarkannya. “Nggak bawa payung lagi gue”. Gue berjalan di sebelahnya menuju lobby sekolah tanpa komentar, di luar sana kilat dan petir bergantian meramaikan langit yang gelap, hujan deras turun tanpa ampun. Beberapa anak mengeluh karena mereka datang ke sekolah dengan berjalan kaki atau naik motor, sebagian lagi bersyukur karena mereka pulang dengan mobil. Gue sendiri bersyukur karena tadi pagi Ibu memaksa menyelipkan sebuah payung kecil di ransel gue.

“Sialan, baru cuci mobil juga gue kemarin sore,” Alex melanjutkan keluhannya, sementara sudut mata gue menangkap sosok yang familiar sedang berdiri di undakan terakhir lobby.

Kaira. Gadis berambut hitam sebahu itu bergeming menatap tirai hujan yang berjarak kurang dari sepuluh senti dari wajahnya. Ia mengigit bagian bawah bibirnya, matanya terlihat muram.

“Eh, lo mau pake payung gue, Lex?” Tiba-tiba sebuah ide muncul di kepala gue.

“Lo nggak mau pulang?” Alex menatap gue curiga.

“Gue baru inget masih harus nyelesaiin kerjaan OSIS dulu. Paling nanti juga udah redaan hujannya”. Gue mengeluarkan payung biru navy dari rasnel gue dan menyodorkannya pada Alex.

“Bener nih? Gue nggak sungkan-sungkan loh,” Alex mengambil payung gue.

Gue mengangguk yakin.

“Oke deh,” Alex mengangkat bahunya dan tersenyum lebar, mendadak air mukanya menjadi lebih cerah. “Thanks, Bro!” Ia melangkah lebar-lebar menerjang hujan sambil mengembangkan payung meninggalkan gue.

Gue mendekati Kaira setelah Alex menghilang di ujung jalan. “Oi,” sapaan gue membuatnya menoleh. “Nggak bisa pulang ya?”

Kaira mengangguk, rambutnya yang tergerai sempurna di punggungnya bergerak naik turun, membuat gue membayangkan bagaimana rasanya jika dapat membelai rambut itu.

“Nggak bawa payung,” suaranya terdengar kecewa, membuat gue setengah menyesal telah meminjamkan payung gue untuk Alex. Tapi kalau gue minjemin payung gue ke Kaira, gue nggak bisa lama-lama nemenin dia nungguin hujan reda, dong.

“Emangnya ada urusan yang urgent banget sampai harus buru-buru pulang?” Gue berusaha menyembunyikan sebersit rasa bersalah gue karena telah mencuri waktu untuk dapat bersama Kaira.

“Tokonya tutup jam enam sore,” Kaira melirik jam tangannya, gue impuls melakukan hal yang sama. Pukul lima lewat lima menit, pelajaran tambahan untuk anak kelas 12 yang mau UAN memang luar biasa menyebalkan dan menyita waktu.

“Apanya yang tutup jam enam?” Gue menoleh ke arah Kaira, ingin menikmati wajahnya lebih lama, menghirup aroma parfumnya lebih dekat—aroma buahnya yang segar membuat gue ketagihan.

“Toko bunga di dekat. Hari ini hari pernikahan bokap nyokap gue, tadinya gue mau mampir dulu beli bunga, tapi kalau hujannya sederas ini kayaknya mustahil sebentar lagi berhenti,” Kaira menjelaskan dalam satu tarikan napas, suaranya bergetar, terdengar kecewa sekaligus kesal. Gue merasa sebentar lagi air mata akan meluncur turun membasahi pipinya.

“Gue tau kok toko bunga yang tutup lebih malam. Emang agak jauh sih, tapi masih bisa ditempuh jalan kaki. Kalau lo mau nanti gue temenin beli, deh”. Gue menawarkan.

Kaira menoleh. Senyumnya merekah seperti sinar mentari yang menyeruak di antara awan mendung. Manis. Cantik. “Beneran?”

Gue mengangguk, mau tak mau ikut tersenyum melihatnya.  

“Wah, makasih banget! Elo emang penyelamat deh!” Kaira nyaris melompat ditempatnya.

Gue tergelak. Bahagia melihat Kaira sesenang itu.


Hei, Kaira, kalau ada kesempatan lain, boleh kan kita menghabiskan waktu berdua kayak gini lagi?

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Thursday, April 14, 2016

the chaos.

It was dark and pouring outside. Then the automatic doors sled open. A man came in, dragging a woman with him.

Drip, drip, drip.

“I’m okay,” said the woman.

“No, you’re not okay!” the man yelled, sounded like a bark to me.

Drip, drip, drip.

They stood in front of the Emergency Room receptionist. The man rummaged into his bag and threw an ID card to the table.

He left. Angry.

Drip, drip, drip,

I froze.

Susan Pratiwi. From the photo on the ID, clearly it was the woman.

“What’s wrong, Mam?” I asked.

“Nothing”. She seemed a little bit off—confused. Her hair was messy, she was wearing a dirty navy shirt, with a ripped jeans torn here and there showing so many cuts she had on her leg. The nurse surrounded her, checking her from head to toe.

“I’m okay,” she said.

Drip, drip, drip. Fresh red blood were dripping from her hand, forming a pool of blood on the floor.

“Your palm are bleeding, Mam. Are you sure you’re okay?” A nurse approached her.

“It’s not hurt”. She is standing there, looked pale and fragile. I afraid she would collapse at any time.

“Let me look at your hand,” another nurse tried to talk to her.

“No, I want to wait for my friend.” She shook her head, a little trembled.

Drip, drip, drip.

“Do you want to sit while you’re waiting?”

She shook her head twice. “I’m okay”.

“No, you’re not okay,” another voice came from behind, a man stood there, grabbing the woman’s arm until she flinched.

“Please help her,” his voice was heavy, sounded like a mixture of desperation and anger.

“I don’t need any help,” the woman looked at the man with a blank expression.

“Look at yourself! You are bleeding everywhere!” He shook the woman.

The woman looked at herself—puzzled. “Why am I bleeding? That’s odd, I don’t feel any pain at all”.

“What happened?” A doctor came.

“She cut herself,” The man near broke off as he told the doctor. He looked at the woman with an indescribable expression, like he couldn’t believe himself, like a regret, a disappointment, a frustration, but on top of those, I still saw a love. His gesture to protect her, his worrisome gaze toward her, I almost could tell you how much this man love her.

Then I look at the woman. Completely clueless while the nurse cleaned her wounds. It was a heartbreaking scene to watch. And I wonder what kind of thing that made the woman want to end her life. What kind of thing that made her forgot that she had so much love, that she had a man to support her by her side. That still, the best choice is to stay alive despite of whatever it was she had gone through.

Hey, Mam, could you just try to hang on for a while? To bear it with him a little bit more? Because I hope that at the end you will end up grateful that you didn’t die that night. That one day you can laugh for your stupid decision that night, that one day you’ll realize that you’re deeply loved, and you can tell yourself that it’s such a beautiful life to live in.

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