what makes you beautiful

So this morning in the middle of the drizzling rain I was sitting with a friend. Waiting. Actually I am a little bit reluctant to talk with anybody around campus lately. As the exam is getting closer, the topic that being brought up in any conversation was a little bit depressing. But luckily, I wasn’t caught in that stressful issue this morning.

As we were waiting, this friend of mine asked me about my writing. I know that she loves to paint, so I asked her too about her painting. It was dark and gloomy outside, the clouds were heavy, but our conversation was surprisingly pleasing. As my friend told me about how she loves to paint so much like nothing can stop her, I could feel her energy. I felt her joy. I felt her love towards her paintings. And I can see her thousand times more beautiful than she should be when she talked about her passion.

I guess that’s the best thing about passion. It keeps you alive. It makes you look beautiful. It pushes you and brings you to somewhere you never think of—somewhere full of surprise. It pleases you.

And I think; if you have that something that makes you feel alive, then go for it. Choose to live your passion. Choose to live your dream.

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Page One

So here we are on the first page of 365 pages for this year. On the page where we can take a look back a little to what we’ve been through on the previous year. 2013 was wonderful in many ways for me.  The downs were terrible but the ups were wayyy delightful.

I don’t know how to summarize 2013. It was tough, tougher than I could imagine. Tough, so I can still remember those nights when I prayed to God, telling Him that it’s too heavy for me. But I am grateful, because without those teary and sleepless nights I won’t be who I am today. Because without those full of prayer nights I would never be so close to God, I would never understand and experience and realize His unceasing love for me.

2013 was tough, but it was full of joy. And I really really mean it. It was a year where I got my dream came true. A year full of laugh and love and surprise and many happy things I can’t write down here.

After all it was a great year. A year worth to celebrate. A year of blessing. And I believe—and hope 2014 will be one too, despite of the worries and fear of what’s coming ahead. Will keep the faith up.

Happy New Year people!

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A Toast!

To new beginnings

in fear and faith

and all it tinges

To love is a dare

when hope and despair,

are gates upon it hinges.

-Lang Leav

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To all heroes

What does make a person a great hero? A special ability? A super cool suit? A great villain? When I was a kid, a hero for me is someone who saves the world. Somebody like power ranger.

Then as I went to school, everybody said that a hero is someone who does a noble thing. Someone like teacher. And I start to believe so. A teacher is a hero.

As I grow up and start to see the world in a quite different perspective, I realize that a hero comes in an unexpected form too. Like in a form of an old lady who wakes up very early in the morning to sell food in your canteen. Or someone who do your chores to make a living.

But then, as I know some people deeper. I start to think that they can be hero too—that they deserve to be called a hero. When you know someone a little bit deeper, you can tell that there is a hero inside everyone. There is a hero inside your best friend whom you talk to everyday. There is a hero inside someone you dislike. There is a hero inside someone you can’t understand. There is a hero inside someone who you think is an outcast. There is a hero inside you. A hero doesn't have to come with an uber cool suit or with a great knack. In fact, a hero can come in any suit, in many forms. An it comes in a form of you too J

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Paradise

I’m in a brand new adventure

where the sparks of the stars

and a drop of morning dew

and rays of light between leaves

can make me smile all day

I’m in a magical place

Where clouds are so fluffy and colorful

Where unicorns and fairy and pixie dust are real

Where rain taste as sweet as honey

I’m in a new chapter

Where syllables can’t describe a thing

and words are no longer the main artists

The letters scrambles

twirling in a lovely motion

I’m somewhere between meadow and the sky

            Floating between delight and bliss

            I’m somewhere

            somewhere…

           

           

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the magic of the rain

I love rain. Maybe because things seem a little bit different when it’s raining. Maybe because we can see things we won’t see on usual day. Seperti melihat dua orang anak berseragam sekolah yang asik mengobrol sambil menerobos hujan—seolah basah kuyup bukanlah hal besar. Seperti melihat seorang bocah penjaja koran yang mengetuk jendela mobil saya dengan tatapn iba. Atau, sesederhana merasakan kebaikan kecil dari orang yang sama sekali tidak terduga.

It was pouring when I wanted to get back from campus today, and I forgot to bring my umbrella. Setelah berputar-putar mencari jalan keluar yang paling dekat dengan tempat parkir, saya berkesimpulan bahwa nggak mungkin banget masuk mobil tanpa kebasahan. Hujannya deras, dan angin yang kencang membuat saya kebasahan bahkan ketika saya berdiri di tempat teduh. Saya menunggu, tapi sama sekali tidak terlihat tanda-tanda bahwa hujan akan berhenti. Tidak betah menunggu terlalu lama tanpa teman, saya berpikir untuk menerobos hujan saja. Tapi lalu saya melirik bawaan saya—dua jilid skripsi yang baru saja jadi dan ditandatangani dosen. Saya lebih rela diri saya yang kehujanan dibanding skripsi saya, namun menerobos hujan berarti harus rela membiarkan dua buku hijau tersebut kebasahan. Saya menimbang sejenak. Lalu ragu. Namun keputusan terakhir saya adalah tetap menerobos hujan.

Baru saja hendak melangkah, tiba-tiba cleaning service yang sejak tadi sibuk mengepel di sebelah saya bertanya,”Mau kemana, Dek?”

“Mau ke parkiran, Mas,” jawab saya sambil menunjuk mobil saya yang terlihat dari tempat saya berdiri. Tidak terlalu jauh, tapi tetap saja mustahil berjalan ke sana tanpa basah kuyup di hujan selebat itu.

“Oh,” cleaning service yang tidak saya ketahui namanya itu lalu bergegas ke belakang, kemudian meminjamkan saya sebuah payung. “Ini pakai aja, Dek”.

Setengah terkejut dan bersyukur, saya menerima payung tersebut sambil mengucapkan terima kasih. Hari ini saya—dan skripsi saya, diselamatkan oleh seorang petugas cleaning service yang tidak pernah saya sapa sehari-hari. And in the middle of the rain I smiled, mungkin hujan nggak hanya meluruhkan awan yang menggumpal pekat di langit sana, tapi juga meluruhkan kebaikan yang ada di hati sebagian orang.

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ask the reason why

In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. —Ender, Ender’s Game

I remember when I was a kid when there’s a friend who wasn’t willing to share something with me, my parents told me to share something for him/her instead. Why doing good to people who treated us bad? For a five-year-old girl, it didn’t make any sense. And maybe, it even doesn’t make any sense for some of the adults.

But Bible told us to love our enemies. To pay attention to them and treat them well. Hard? Of course it is. Like I said earlier, it even doesn’t make any sense for some people. But impossible? No.

As I grow up, instead of getting mad at people whose act I can’t stand, I try to think the reason they did such things. I usually wonder, what kind of family he/she grows up in. What kind of childhood did he/she have been through? What kind of life that she/he has to bear? Is there any kind of wound his/her heart suffers? It’s difficult at the beginning, but as I getting used to it, it helps me to love them. Sometimes when you get to know the answers for those questions, you’ll be surprised. Because most of the time, the people you hate—the people you dislike, are the people who need to be heard. They are people who—surprisingly, need to be loved the most.

You’ll realize that those traits you don’t like from your enemies, most of the times are the results from their childhood experiences. Isn’t this kind of thing occurs to all people, including us? Who we are today are made from what we experienced in the past. And that makes all of us equal. Equally to be loved.

Next time you feel too difficult to love your enemy, try to understand them. It helps.

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